the stars, the hill, and the wine with you.

2011-01-20T08:18:00.000-08:00

September, October, November, December, January.

Wow. long time.

You know those moments when you sit down. Anywhere. look back on life and seem to find only the happy moments and the sad moments?

yeah. My best friend in like the entire world. Sarah (we should really hang out more). Like in say about one and a half years will be going to Melbourne and I'm going to UK. So it's kinda ballsy. I just want her to know that I'll actually break down and cry and fuck a fish's brains out. Like A Boss. No Sarah No Life. Write a paragraph? Let it all out? Fuck no.

Time passed shit fast. and You don't get to do half the things you want to do. and then you don't even have the time to after all the commotion and the madness. And you'd think you have all the time in the world when you're getting on with life.

Life is actually shit short. There's not much to it. And you know when you die. people say you'll see your entire life flash before your eyes. I don't think so. It'll be more like a compilation of pictures of things that make you happy.

And I don't believe in coincidences. I think all of this is interlinked in a way, way past the physical. Things happen because they happen.

So basically. Old person looking back on his life moment there. Did up a soliloquy.

But Most days. you don't feel alive. And you don't remember it.

But whatever.

I'm listening to the world.

2010-09-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

What I don't get. Is you.

Sometimes you're like me to you.

And sometimes. I just don't know.

And I'm sure I want this.

But you make me want to hit myself sometimes.

I can't give up because something might be there, and I will because there maybe isn't?

But we both know something is there. But will it last?

But maybe this is what it feels to feel. The wait.

The wait, The thrill.

2010-09-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

Fall in love a little.

Firetruck you feelings.

Don't cloud my judgement.

And the worst part is. I know I'm here.

But are you with me?

"if you don't let it hurt, it won't ever hurt."

Maybe we should all kill ourselves once.

2010-07-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

You actually want to make me want to shock my heart with defibrillators.

I want to die a little.

2010-06-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

So maybe.

Just a little.

What do I do?

2010-04-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

Things are.

2010-03-08T05:19:00.000-08:00

Don't die.

Why?

Because I'm here.

Watching the world over.

2010-02-26T11:33:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been looking for a problem.

But there's a problem.

One totally obvious.

And One which made me piss my pants.

I think the second more problem is maybe what I've been looking for.

But you never know right?

Maybe the problem is attracted to me too.

And Love.

How I've missed you.

We've got something.

Profound.

But the problem is.

Maybe I'm losing composure.

Magic mouse and wireless keyboard.

I can finally type from my bed.

EPIC. FUCKING. WIN.

Love.

2010-02-22T06:18:00.000-08:00

I want to dance.

My eyes are growing tired from the different scenes that pass by my eyes.

Maybe my eyes are in reverse.

Maybe that's why I see everything come and go faster and faster.

Welcome the night.

2010-02-02T03:53:00.001-08:00

Fireworks baby. Time for a party.

2010-01-29T05:50:00.000-08:00

So. If the world were much simpler, how much more messed up would it be?

Apparently, we love the drama, to distract and retract us away from and back to the silence.

You are the earth beneath my feet.

You are my gravity.

has anyone told you, that you look gorgeous tonight?

I bought a bottle in which I store thoughts in,

and threw it into the sea to let you hear them.

Has he come to it?

Does she not see it?

Do they not see it?

And what of him?

2010-01-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

So I think it's totally cool to fuck the flow and go on your own.

I mean what fun is it waiting.

Maybe a little.

What now? oh what now.

2010-01-08T20:24:00.001-08:00

maybe i should handstand to see the world the right way up.

2009-12-31T08:41:00.000-08:00

All the heartbreaks, and heart-makes,

All the tears and the joy.

Washed away by the 3 words.

Happy New Year.

hahahah, it sounds different. Everything.

Can you hear it? Can you see it?

I'm happy.

Them gears are turning with the sound of change.

Goodbye You.

Goodbye Her.

Goodbye Him.

Bring it, 2010.

You can't touch this.

2009-12-31T00:33:00.000-08:00

Oh 2009, Where we've left you behind.

Why oh why are we leaving you behind.

But here's a toast to the Nine,

For all the good and bad,

And all the best and the worst.

We love you 2009.

I can see things clearer now.

One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six,

Seven.

Ready for Round Two?

One for everything one is going to see.

Two which one has already seen,

Three which one has already denied,

Will there ever be one for more than Three?

Ah but the story switches.

Where five who four has known for two years alone,

Will four be willing to see five go?

Because four will miss five so.

Even though it's nothing more than friendship alone.

Six. oh just screw it.

There's too much noise in six.

And Seven? Who will play in part 7?

If we pick she, then she's already seen three.

But where will she now see after she's past three?

Will there be more? An Eight?

Oh wow. Let's get ready for this.

Goodbye 2009.

Hello 2010.

Now what will happen then?

2009-12-14T20:29:00.000-08:00

It's been what, months?

hahaha holy crap.

Few things have changed.

It's a one two dance,

but there's three.

One is always there.

and two had been.

But the dance jumps to

another tune and it becomes

the two three.

Will one ever find another two?

or will he decide to become

another three.

BUT there's so much more.

Here comes four five and six.

It's a love hexagon.

One to two, then two to three,

but how about three to four?

Why did three just trample all over her feet.

Five and Six are the add-ons,

though Five wants to four.

One wants to six.

But he knows that's too many numbers away.

So he holds his breath and waits.

There's nothing wrong with five and six.

They're unharmed. Except for five with an unrequited love.

Waits.

One can't be fucked.

Two is scared to nuts.

Three is winning.

Four is drowning.

Five is waiting.

Six? hmm.

Let's watch the dance as we swivel round the floor.

Maybe everything will change for the better.

Or maybe not.

2009-10-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

NOT IN ME, BELIEVING IN YOU.

NOT IN YOU, BELIEVING IN ME.

BELIEVE IN THE YOU,

THAT BELIEVES IN YOU!

2009-10-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

Everything looks perfect from far away.

I'm glad.

2009-08-30T14:22:00.000-07:00

Nothing is ever going to happen between us.

I feel like I'm trying to look right while looking left.

Let's test the pro and cons and see.

Pros.

Her.

Cons.

Him.

I've been playing this game.

It's been real fun.

But I'm bored now.

2009-08-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

He saw, and saw did he saw too much it sawed his heart.

Do I make sense? nah not really.

Hi! I'm a dickwad.

How deep am I?

2009-08-05T07:01:00.000-07:00

Goodbyes and Lullabies.

(Verse 1)

Open your eyes to the sunset morning,

Live in a town where there's only nothing,

Come to my place and lie with me,

Who knew we'd turn out a tragedy.

(Verse 2)

Sit back, relax, tell me your name,

I want to know the reason you're playing this game.

Check your watch, are you following me here.

Can you hear me, am I loud and clear?

(Pre-Chorus)

Don't turn back from yesterday,

I'm sure you know what happened, I'm sorry to say.

But, things happen, they come and go,

So listen to this song I wrote.

(Chorus)

And Lullabies, a good disguise,

for the evening of saying goodbye.

and where'd you go, I'm all alone.

baby, can you please come home?

ah da da da da da da

da da da da da da da da

(Verse 3)

Hear me out, I'm talking to you,

I want to say I'm sorry, for leaving you too.

It wasn't supposed to end like this,

it was supposed to be our first and last kiss.

(Pre-Chorus)

So where've you gone baby,

It ended like this.

(Chorus)

Lullabies, a good disguise,

for the evening of saying goodbye.

and where'd you go, I'm all alone.

baby, can you please come home?

ah da da da da da da

da da da da da da da da

(Bridge)

I'm ready for love,

Angels above,

and look at me now,

Don't take her please.

It's just not the same,

without the pain, of your kiss.

(Chorus)

Lullabies, a good disguise,

for the evening of saying goodbye.

and where'd you go, I'm all alone.

baby, can you please come home?

ah da da da da da da

da da da da da da da da

(Chorus)

Lullabies, a good disguise,

for the evening of saying goodbye.

and where'd you go, I'm all alone.

baby, can you please come home?

2009-07-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

For what we once were, we will be again.

and for every tear, we will smile again.

It's been a while huh? since well I blogged.

At the moment. I'm in the middle of my summer holidays.

and let me tell you. It's total bullshit.

But whatever. I sleep at 5? then wake up at 9

tuition 4 times a week

basically, My life was up and down,

now it's just flat on the ground.

I'd thought as we got older it'd get more entertaining.

but seems to me,everything is just complaining.

I lost.

I loved.

I sighed, and cried.

and even thought of what was I doing for a while.

but screw the drama. I'm not in the mood.

it's one big piece of shit, waiting for our souls as food.

and this is the thriller.

One Year.

I couldn't care less.

2012, I'm fucking getting 50 bucks.

Screw your prediction crap.

I'm not fucking dying yet.

2009-06-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

First Love.

It never really hits you till later.

And you'd wander in circles chasing after someone who's chasing after you.

It's been Two months.

Is it still cool to say,

I miss you.

And moving on is just a motion.

but

Now what.

I'm going to write you a story.

2009-05-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

Now what.

It really gets you thinking.

Where did it all go.

when did it all move along.

when I'm here stuck alone in this town.

Hey hey,

Now what.

Come back already.

Noise Pornography

2009-05-09T06:21:00.000-07:00

Remember how heartbreak feels, (So bad?)

It's not my fault the sunrise hits your head,(so fall back to sleep again.)

And you'd sit awake listening to the morning (Noise)

and I'd be breaking backs to say "Don't be stupid" (Today)

Have you heard the newest couple are Rob and Jay? (so today)

Under the covers just like lovers screaming away (get a room, you say)

Jealousy, not for me, I am one step from the blade. (Don't deny the pain)

But suicide for my pride doesn't match what I have to say (You walk that way)

Yeah that's basically the first and second verse of my new song.

2009-05-01T12:22:00.000-07:00

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1.

That's my countdown.

I've forgotten.

how it feels to hold someone.

Come back.

IT'S SO EMPTY.

AND LONELY.

AND I CAN'T STOP

THINKING OF REASONS

Why.

10. Your name crosses my mind everyday.

9. Normally, it's easy just to forget.

8. You worry me.

7. I can't look at something that reminds of you.

6. More painful than I thought.

5. I get so annoyed when I don't understand something.

4. Never felt this way. and maybe it's not that strong.

3. I can't remember what you look or sound like.

2. I miss you.

1. I can't remember how my heart beats.

It's stupid.

and I don't understand.

Just shoot me already.

2009-04-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

Questions you never thought to ask yourself.

Who are you?

Why?

Is it all a lie?

Did you know?

What do you want?

Why do you breathe?

Why can't you see?

Why can't you hear?

Why can't you feel?

Where does it end?

Where did it start?

Is it over?

How did it happen?

How long have you been gone?

When is soon?

How long is forever?

Why is there a never?

Why is there an ever.

Yes?

Maybe?

No?

------------------------------------------

How do you know?

Who am I?

Am I alive?

2009-04-26T07:36:00.001-07:00

Reasons why,

I should cry.

- It's empty.

- Dr. Cox is my idol.

- I'm losing time.

- My hair is going white.

- I don't know why, but I still sigh.

2009-04-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

Here's where I'll open my heart.

On my wall.

On Post One Thirty One.

So My Family.

family doesn't come biologically.

My Mother.

My Father.

My Brother.

My Sister.

Sarah.

Mum,

Thank you.

You had to carry me round for 9 months.

so well when I'm a bit stronger, I'll carry you.

You brought me in,

and with my life I'll repay you.

Dad,

I'm sorry. completely.

I'm not the best, the smartest, the strongest.

I try.

But I don't try enough.

You give so much.

Just wait a little longer.

I'm not ready yet.

Redzlan, Redzlan.

Yeah you put up with my crap.

Sorry. You're just fun to make fun of.

I'm much more proud of you than I look.

I think you're gonna be someone great.

Hanna.

You probably haven't

gone through the motions yet.

but hey you're talented to the extreme.

Just lazy to the max.

Sarah.

I have three words.

It's not over.

when everything seems fucked up and crap for you.

I'm still here.

when you're dead scared and can't take it.

I'll still be here.

and when you think it's gonna end.

It's not over.

If I lose you.

We'll meet again.

duh.

Yellow Pages.

I'm not letting go.

You're close enough for me to know.

That I worry about the the same things you do.

Disappointment.

We think we're not enough

we think we're letting the world down.

we think no ones there.

To save you.

and well

I don't know what Love is.

how it feels.

what it's like.

But I know If I lost any of you.

More tears will fall from my eyes.

than they are now.

I don't think I'll have the heart to lose any of you.

what scares me the most, is the overdose.

I Love You.

as the stars shine.

as the moon wanes.

as the tides change.

as the sun sets.

as the seasons change.

as the rivers meander.

as the earth shakes.

and when the world ends.

I'm not done yet.

It's not over.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

but I'll do what I'll have to do.

To Save You.

As You've Saved Me.

Like hell I'm gonna let you get the best of me.

I think I'm tearing up.

Six Feet Under The Stars.

2009-04-13T17:46:00.001-07:00

This is where I leave my heart beating.

Well not really.

I think this depression sadness bullshit is a load of overrated garbage.

How often does your heart beat?

In the way you'd notice.

This is how my heart feels when it's not in my chest.

Stolen - Dashboard Confessional.

That's like my cry-for-days.

This is the story of the Girl

Whom I let my heart get kidnapped with.

So.

Set the scene.

It was a rush.

not really a hush.

SHUSH GIRL SHUT YOUR LIPS

DO THE HELLEN KELLER AND

TALK WITH YOUR HIPS.

so,

hahaha 5 days.

Knowing me, Knowing you.

I hadn't known.

well hadn't realized.

I would write down her 100 things.

but hell.

My secret.

Go find out yourself.

She's well.

a ground person.

Sea freaks her out.

Heights freak her out.

I mean.

she wants to get kidnapped.

YEAH I KNOW.

Her name is french.

yes.

She's stubborn,

interesting.

She's moving to a fricking country that spells

WAR.

well a civil war is in progress.

add to my worries.

She had 15 hamsters.

Obsession over unicorns.

unpredictable to the extreme.

15 hamsters???

15.

you could run a pet store.

See we're clicking opposites.

I'm a cloud person.

Boat person.

I hate walking sometimes.

I mean, it's so much easier to fly.

I bring toothpicks from time to time

to stab people if they try to kidnap me.

My name is Arabic.

It means Satisfaction.

That's not really and opposite but hey.

Yeah I'm stubborn.

Not very interesting.

I'm stuck in malaysia.

It just screams summer.

I had 3 rabbits.

now 4.

one died and well I got two more.

I was a power ranger!

Predictable yes.

I can run 200 metres and get tired!

See all those differences?

haha.

DOESN"T MATTER.

We clicked.

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.

Wake up

Nadine.

So I can say Good Morning.

In France.

I watched Twilight

6 Times.

I'm starting to hate Love stories.

Yeah I know

I'm no Edward Cullen.

But hey,

I'm the coolest shit since toasters.

When I don't have anyone to talk to.

Well I blog.

hahahahahaha.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=87048&id=639481289

guys click that.

2009-04-08T00:36:00.000-07:00

This is the Part.

The Part in where.

Everything,

Stops.

Heart beat.

It's been dull till now.

and it's going to be again.

I should SHOUT.

Stay. Stay. Stay.

I have.

And I opened my heart.

Let my heart beat erratically.

and told you about my love.

You know how the song goes.

and it went well.

I've never heard a beat so soothing

yet it shook me.

I've been dead.

Probably coming back.

But going to die again.

How many times do I have to Die,

before I can Live.

I miss you.

I Miss You.

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart

With quiet words I'll lead you in.

Don't waste your time on me,

You're already a voice inside

My Head.

I. Miss. You.

Move along, love.

We can't hold on forever.

Let go,

So only I will have to say

Good Bye.

2009-04-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,

I fell in love with the girl who got away.

and I miss you too Sarah, You're so lonely sometimes it's amazing.

and tell me all about your love life.

I find it so entertaining.

just come to france.

that way I don't have to pay for airfare.

Umm so I think Sarah would get this.

In basics

Girl who I did like didn't turn out to be the girl I did really like.

It was girl's best friend.

I hadn't realised for all this time.

Until we said goodbye. and I went to france.

I did like Girl

but I dunno it hits me now, how

slow I am.

to know that I fell for the wrong girl.

I'm just another guy who's been with all the wrong girls.

hahaha, and If you read this.

Yeah, we're that love story.

and I'm gonna come back,

call you, tell you how I feel.

and cry in depression.

Because you've hit my dreams.

three times in a row.

that's a record.

and I don't want your body,

It's you.

well just your lips.

And what's a real bug.

I won't see you again.

Bye, Love.

We're destiny remember?

haha jake smsed saying Happy easter!

And I'm sory I'm slow

If I were sooner,

maybe,

We'd have been together.

and the reason I asked you to dance?

Yeah you looked lonely.

but I think it hit me when we danced.

It felt so right.

What's like

what's lust?

I think I like you.

Hahaha.

Sometimes I worry,

and wonder.

Are we supposed to find love?

or is it supposed to find us?

or is it supposed to guide us?

Hahah I'm no Edward Cullen, but bear with me

I'm the coolest shit since toasters.

All I know is,

If were sooner,

You may have been the world to me.

I think.

Do you still love me too?

Sarah, WE HAVE TO BAND PRACTICE,

AND NOT WING IT LIKE ALWAYS.

France has no girls.

Uhh.

It has porn though,

everyday my dad goes,

ey want to watch dirty movies with me?

I love my dad, honestly,

But dude, keep your pants on.

SORRY I LIKE YOU,

I think.

I'm kinda new at this whole thing.

I ATE SNAILS!

haha It's so cold here.

i want to talk to you so much.

so so much.

Did I mention,

You make my heartbeat irregular.

2009-03-30T04:03:00.000-07:00

BYE.

2009-03-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

You're a tease, Love.

Don't get me caught up.

If you're mine, I'm yours.

If you're only mine.

I'll be only yours.

CAN'T YOU SEE IT?

It's right there.

You just don't see it.

You don't.

And there came Aisha,

she's pretty funny.

hahaha she thinks

if she kills an insect it will come back and haunt her.

Love, You don't see it.

If only If only.

You felt the same way I do.

Hey I came up with a chorus

Why can't you scream, the words I wanna scream?

Why can't you feel the same way I do?

Why can't you say that I love you too?

It's not like you're broken with a heart in two.

Hahaha I'm just laughing at all the mess.

So I haven't thought about my granddad for real in 10 years.

Am I supposed to miss him?

yeah.

I love you Tok Daddy, I wish I got to know you better.

You were the second last left hander in the entire family.

I'm the last one.

I wish I got to know you better.

so much.

even if I didn't know you.

I remember standing watching you be buried. or carried away.

I was 5.

and I knew then, whom I had just lost.

haha I'm crying. well getting watery.

I wish I wish,

I got to know you better.

so much so much.

I love you, Tok Daddy,

even if I never knew you.

I hope I become as great as you did.

So I can stay with my grandchildren as long as I.

Can.

And ten years later,

I'm going on about unrequited love.

when ten years ago.

I lost my grandfather's love.

Oh Love. why do you do this to us like so?

hahaha, I'm such a fag.

Cool Redz,

I'll see him later anyway.

I miss you too.

I never got to say it.

Good night and good bye,

Tok Daddy, sleep well.

2009-03-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Blog.

One Year, One Year.

Sarah got first wish though.

See, my blog is like a wall.

it's like a wall I can whatever I want on,

and it'll stay there like a diary.

because 20 years from now.

I'll be older, and hopefully not dead.

20 years from now,

I'll be 35.

And I'll be reading these words as I read it,

reminding myself, of how much

of a geek I am.

ahahaha and so.

Happy Birthday, Blog.

2009-03-18T04:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my blog's birthday.

It's whoa to know

how much happens in a year.

Has it been a year? really?

and always there was that one person.

who changed me so.

AHAHAHA, EVERYTHING is so boring.

Happy early birthday, bloggy.

I should name you.

ahahah name you earl maybe.

nah you sound like a fat guy.

Two of my poems got into the anthology.

Why did it.

why

why.

WHY.

2009-03-16T03:17:00.000-07:00

okay In short,

oh love oh love.

STOP

USING

WORDS.

I now declare

"I wanna taste you from your hips to your lips"

a copyrighted statement.

see it really pisses me off.

MINE

MINE.

ahaha,

a whole day worth of frustration.

all OUT.

F*CK YOU!

DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU.

hahahahaha

Oh joy,

and here it comes.

2009-03-13T04:13:00.000-07:00

okay well,

part of me says yes,

part of me says no.

I DON'T WANNA SEE THE DAY, HER TEARS ARE FALLING ON MY GRAVE.

So today, I was looking through last years yearbook.

and while I was flipping page after page,

I thought to myself why I didn't see most of it before.

The faces, words, and whatever.

There was always a part of the yearbook I never saw.

Probably because, before,

I saw whatever I wanted to see.

and when I did see it I wouldn't care about anything else.

Then well I thought huh.

what about the rest of the world?

do they do the same things I do?

what are they like?

Because right now,

part of me says yes

part of me says no.

I think no is less guilty.

And well here's the deal,

how can I only take what I want

without taking it from someone else.

It's not fair, it's not fair.

So we just want what we want.

even though you claim modesty,

we see what we want,

take what we want.

But guess what?

there's everybody else too.

so, so,

Take her away, or stop the broken hearts?

I mean how painful can it get?

and will she follow?

and we'll die, die, die

not knowing, how how how.

how we're all alone.

Six feet under the stars.

and I'd swim the ocean for you

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do.

About you,

now.

Preacher claims innocent,

while the jury calls guilty,

and while the heart tries not to shake,

haha well, It's all just another headache.

I mean. why bother.

2009-03-06T03:00:00.000-08:00

And it's killing me,

Killing me.

To know that I'm that alone,

and you're not answering your phone,

Maybe it's the loss.

Maybe it's the cost.

But I know, that me & you.

so close, stuck like glue.

But we got torn,

Now I'm still alone,

awaiting for everything,

I am missing you.

maybe it's the loss

maybe it's the cost.

To be alone,

to be sewn

to anything.

Just maybe, it's the loss.

Probably, it was always the cost.

and I knew, all along,

I had to be strong.

because it was one of these days,

I'm still in a daze.

knowing had hard it was.

to live without you.

But hey.

It's only for so long.

One day I'll be gone,

and I won't remember

anything

but you.

I miss you,

so much.

and if you only knew,

how much I needed you.

but oh oh oh.

Do you still think of me.

When everything leaves you

but me.

Forever and ever.

for tonight and forever.

Time to lay claim to the evidence
Fingerprints sell me out
But our footprints washed away
From the docks downtown
It's been getting late for days
And I feel myself deserving of a little time off
We can kick it here for hours
And just mouth off about the world
And how we know it's going straight to hell

Pass me another bottle, honey
The Jaeger's so sweet
But if it keeps you around, then I'm down

Meet me on Thames Street
I'll take you out
Though I'm hardly worth your time
In the cold, you look so fierce
But I'm warming up
Because the tension's like a fire
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself
But there's room for two
Six feet under the stars

I should have known better than to call you out
(On a night like this, a night like this)
If not for you, I know I'd tear this place to the ground
(But I'm all right like this, all right like this)
I'm gonna roll the dice
Before you sober up and get gone
I'm always in over my head

Thames Street
I'll take you out
Though I'm hardly worth your time
In the cold, you look so fierce
But I'm warming up
Because the tension's like a fire
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself
But there's room for two
Six feet under the stars

Time to lay claim to the evidence
Fingerprints sell me out
But our footprints washed away
I'm guilty, but I'm safe for one more day
Overdressed and underage
Do you really need see an ID?
This is embarrassing as hell
But I can cover for it so well
When we're six feet under the stars

Thames Street
I'll take you out
Though I'm hardly worth your time
In the cold you look so fierce
But I'm warming up
Because the tension's like a fire
We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes
And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line
Fall in the grave I've been digging myself
But there's room for two
Six feet under the stars
Six feet under the stars

Six feet under the stars

haha this is MY theme song.

2009-03-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

OKAY I THINK WE'VE MADE IT CLEAR.

GO FIRST ORIGINAL!

GO CHANCELLOR!

Do you still love me? - Subject Compromise

You tell me you want me,
You. Lead me on.
You mess with my head
And say im the one

you get me caught up,
Held me, in your arms
I cant believe that I
Fell for your charm

And I'll be screaming
Oh please,
You're a liar and a cheat.

Why can't you tell me you love me, please?
you're killing me softly, with empty pleads.
You're laughing, you're hating,
you're screaming, you're dreaming,
and it all comes down to,
Do you still love me too?

Do you know what it feels like
when I, talk to you.
Do you know what it feels like
when I'm, next to you.

and break me down,
while I beg, on my knees,
screaming, Take me back
Take me back.

And I'll be screaming
Oh please,
You're a liar and a cheat.

Why can't you tell me you love me, please?
you're killing me softly, with empty pleads.
You're laughing, you're hating,
you're screaming, you're dreaming,
and it all comes down to,
Do you still love me too?

So they left, each other back,
leaving all the things they had.
we all want something more,
but we don't know what for sure.

AND CAME THE SOLO LIKE CHUCK NORRIS.

So they left, each other back,
leaving all the things they had...

Why can't you tell me you love me, please?
you're killing me softly, with empty pleads.
You're laughing, you're hating,
you're screaming, you're dreaming,
and it all comes down to,
Do you still love me too?

Me & You,

Sitting in our honeymoon.

If I woke up next to you,

If I woke up next to you.

2009-02-23T04:13:00.000-08:00

Remember when rain drops fall?

Crashing onto the ground,

washing away the sounds.

feeling like the air,

it feels like we were never there,

Slowly we go, inch by inch,

reaching for something to hold.

We're just lonely.

Remember how the stars shine?

Brightly in the night sky,

and the blackest tears they cry,

Seeming so far away,

but always there everyday,

Slowly we reach, inch by inch,

shouting for someone to come.

We're just lonely.

Remember the azure full moon?

With a glass of wine in hand,

And cherry red lips to steal,

We kiss to the fireworks,

and thinking about if I wake up next to you.

And I reached, shouted and, and.

Me & You, alone together, sitting in our honeymoon.

We couldn't be any lonelier.

Remember then?

2009-02-19T03:02:00.000-08:00

You see,

We're weak,

Human.

We'll always need each other,

because that's the way we are.

We can't be alone.

Because we keep our Pride,

Keep us standing,

To find out,

We , I know

Nothing.

yeah, we'll become stronger over time,

but only together,

want to know how to fight your own war?

You can't fight it alone.

Dear Gravity, You've held me down in this starless city.

2009-02-17T07:27:00.000-08:00

Eistedfod,

Last Year, well we all know who should've won for the single instrumental.

:) haha

okay so this year, I have to pick another song. but I want to go for doubles.

I don't have a single instrumental feel good enough.

Funk's for anything,

Solos for Rockshows,

Piano for sleep.

and Duets for impression.

I actually wanna ask Ian.

we can go like depapepe, but the pro-er songs.

He's pro, I could actually look professional this time.

okay

Me and Sarah, against

Whiney and Gay Child.

So basically.

Whiney's she's a 'solo' kind of person, what ever works right?

Gay Child is basically gay. If he ever says "BFFs" I call gay.

So they're gonna keep changing songs, worrying about their sexuality,

and then BOOM, they quit.

So Me and Sarah are just gonna be like "OWNED."

Erasing Competition Right?

Why lose when you can win.

I'm sick hahahaha,

NOOOOO.

Good Night.

2009-02-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

Hey,

I'm not alone this time.

Looks like It's

Valentines this year for me.

See we're always alone.

We're just here together,

to save us from ourselves.

haha

Valentine oh Valentine,

Thank you.

so at 10.42, on Valentines day,

I found my first Valentine.

Valentine oh Valentine,

Thank you.

Now, now, how could you forget?

The touch of my lips

on your cheeks and your hips

and asking me,

Will you be my Valentine.

Oh and it's like a roller coaster with you

there's the up and downs

and the turn arounds,

Of the touch of my lips,

on your cheeks and your hips.

Happy Valentine's day, Sarah.

2009-02-13T08:37:00.000-08:00

To all the people in the world,

To all the couples that pronounce,

Happy Valentines Day.

And to the People who're left empty,

It's just a day,

You don't find love.

Love finds you.

And to all the people who are left broken,

It's not like you can't be fixed.

We're like glass,

Hard to make, Easy to Break.

And to the people who are completed,

Make it last.

You can be fixed,

But you can't get rid of the scars.

It's called Valentines,

We give chocolate, Flowers,

But we just want Love.

Haiku. hahaha.

Valentines oh Valentines,

You left me empty again,

It's not that I can't blame you,

We just have to wait.

The longer we wait,

The more surprising the surprise.

But you know, I don't care for me.

It'll come around,

I'm just singing the songs,

that we wrote,

For the people in Love.

I want a theme song.

Six Feet Under The Stars - All Time Low.

That's mine

hahahaha.

I don't want to lose anything.

I'm the kind of person, who will remember.

And I don't think I can ever forget.

Live with it, right?

YEAH!

who are we?

ASIANS!

what are we here for?

PARTY!

why?

VALENTINES!

for how long?

TILL THE A.M.

how are we going to?

DRINKS DOWN OUR THROATS AND SMOKE IN OUR LUNGS!

Welcome to the club.

2009-02-11T03:55:00.001-08:00

Okay so well.

You wanna know something.

My hands are shaking.

and it's not some kind of like problem.

and well here.

Sarah, if you read this.

It's been long.

Really, when's the last time we talked.

You know what goes through my head everyday.

It's that I'm really lonely.

Yeah I have people to walk and smile with,

but.

It's just not enough.

and well,

when we don't talk for a long period of time,

a couple of days probably,

I just don't know,

I just miss you.

I can't ever find a person like you.

So when you read this, I hope you'll know,

that I'm dying here,

and I'm really bored and lonely.

I need you.

Really.

haha wanna know what I do everyday?

this is a weekday.

I wake up.

Shower.

Go to school.

And when I enter class, the first person I look for is well,

Sarah.

but you know I don't say hi.

Huh, stupid huh?

then I sit down listen to music and sleep the time away.

then classes classes classes

LUNCH

Class.

I get back home and wait till Tomorrow.

BASICALLY the point is.

I can't live properly without You.

Did you know that?

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you.

2009-02-11T03:02:00.000-08:00

So Yes, I'm like in a songwriting, epiphanic mode

I'm making words up here

So it was a Saturday,

I took her out,

Just that night,

and I asked, will you be my valentine?

And someone come save me,

I've been falling down lately,

Someone come, I can't hold on.

I don't want to let go.

Nuts, I'll come up with something later..

hahaha.

Yes I was attempting to make lyrics or some crap.

Well.

ATTEMPTED.

:D Well Valentines oh valentines,

Fuck it.

2009-02-08T10:24:00.000-08:00

Ahah, I'm such a fag.

You know, we're just all longing for love?

We're just alone.

Came into the world alone,

Gonna leave it alone.

and you know, when you're born,

You're crying and other people are laughing.

When you die, you'd die well i don't know about smiling

and other people are crying

How many times have you sat alone and thought, hey, it's quiet.

I watched My Sassy Girl, it was actually good

and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button!

IT WAS SO SAD.

and My best friends girl was hahahahahh.

okay so well Valentines is in like what, 5 days?

So I don't know.

Yeah Eric's was like yesterday's yesterday

I should've gone dude, If I knew I had a ride back i should've

but like what would I do there

I don't like yeah.

I'd be like Hey, puke on me.

So for an hour,

Me and Khaily are discussing about how,

We should have a sex war.

But then I thought, nah, We shouldn't because at like 3 in the morning

it sounded very tempting,

then I thought

Aren't I engaged to Sarah?

then i went like yeah,

It's a no go.

and well not really engaged to Sarah on facebook anymore but it's cool.

hahaha

Ahah, I'm such a fag.

2009-02-05T03:52:00.000-08:00

So?

So.

What now?

What is happening.

Well, It's really quiet.

Well basically, I'm gonna experiment on my genes and get superpowers.

It's been forever, It feels like it.

It's empty.

So everything becomes silent.

So no one starts talking.

People will ask why?

People will say, Because.

We could be flying.

We could be falling.

It doesn't matter.

It really doesn't.

Just something to get the mind off.

Just something to lose yourself into.

In the Morning,

In the Night.

You know?

You don't.

Tell the operator, Connect me.

Tell the public, Just another word.

Everybody, hear hear.

Everybody, shout shout.

Don't kill me.

Don't leave me.

Here's how it goes, 1, 2, 3.

Here's how it ends, Down Down Down.

Give me your lips, give me your hips.

Give me one last kiss.

It's all, it's all, it's all.

It's just another game.

That's it?

That's it.

Hmm.

To one last drink.

To one last toast.

Keep the words in your mouth, and I'll

Keep my chest open to rip my heart out.

For you.

And I swam the oceans for you.

And Down Down Down.

Do you still love me?

2009-01-23T01:18:00.000-08:00

So I knew this guy,

then he met this girl,

they were both, really really really really

really really really really really cool.

and then I said, why don't we get,

Together, FOREVER?

but she said no. oh oh.

and he goes,

Why can't you tell me you love me, please?

you're killing me softly, with empty pleads.

You're laughing, you're hating,

you're screaming, you're dreaming,

and it all comes down to,

Do you still love me?

So they left, eachother back,

leaving all the things they had.

we all want something more,

but we don't know what for sure.

and then I said, it's too late,

It was good while it lasted.

And I'm sorry that,

I'm the reason why.

We got together

and left it all behind.

Why can't you tell me you love me, please? you're killing me softly, with empty pleads. You're laughing, you're hating, you're screaming, you're dreaming, and it all comes down to, Do you still love me?

and how about you, you, you,

can you watch the stars with me.

(solo) duh..

So late last night i met your mum,

we did it together, all night long.

wait stop.

2009-01-20T04:53:00.000-08:00

Well you've heard the story of Ultraman Asia, and the story of the future.

DORAEMON! YOU'RE SO COOL.

He like pulls out shit from nowhere, it's pretty damn awesome.

Okay so like when i was in school, my old school,

I was pretty fucking lazy.

and I'd normally be like stupid.

Then one day,

The girl who sat next to me for like a year? two years?

she went like, "You're not stupid,

You just act like it."

and I was like whoa, she's right.

then I continued being stupid.

You know? on my facebook there's the notification thing right?

I thought I got rid of like the speedate shit.

Then like it popped up and

then I said "leave me alone!, PuiLi210189, STOP BOTHERING ME"

how do you kill apps?

okay, so.

I don't have a story right now.

but when i do i will post it and like yeah.

you can pretend to cry so i feel pro

Okaaaaaaaaaay?

ARE YA READY KIDS?

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

2009-01-14T07:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, so

Let's replay.

from the start.

Okay, one asian boy.

he was in with the out crowd,

always insecure.

as the years passed, he lost the will to try.

His mother kept pressing him to go on,

and his father still hopes for him.

But the boy misunderstood.

made it even worse,

and then one day, he got pushed to breaking point.

burst into tears, he was always angry with himself,

sad for disappointing his parents over and over.

never could find a way to let it out.

They said he had no hope.

Then he moved away, joined another hellhole, well he thought.

turned out that way.

but a year after, he met this girl,

Pretty, Funny, and easy to talk to.

but he never knew she was sad.

then they kept talking and this boy,

well he just started growing and started to not hate himself,

though he still does.

He talked with her, sat with her, always tried to make her smile.

then they got close, like when you glue yourself

There were bad times and good times.

then one day he woke up and didn't have anything to think about.

He was shocked, it never ever happened before.

He sleeps fine now.

so he already knew who to thank. after a while.

So he thanked her, and she asked what for?

Everything.

Then they carried on, it had been a year,

Full of memories,

sometimes he would see her angry and sad,

and get a phone thrown at him, don't worry, he's a wimp, of course he cried.

haha.

So here they are today.

They don't share the same blood.

They don't share the same backgrounds.

They just came together, like it was meant to.

But! they had two people to thank.

their brothers.

Their both douches and fags, but who cares.

Their both their brothers.

and that's the story of Ultraman Asia.

I'm not afraid right now~

2009-01-13T07:03:00.001-08:00

Okay,

Here it goes.

There's this boy,

And this girl.

and this boy has a girl best friend,

and this girl has a boy best friend.

So this boy and girl they get together, and it's a long long while.

Three years,

On the day of their anniversary, They're walking by the beach, and the boy gets a call, The girl best friend, loses her family, in a car accident.

So this boy, tells the girl, "hey, I have to go" and the girl thinks that he's forgotten the anniversary.

Then right after,

"I love you" says the boy,

"and no, I haven't forgotten what today is. I'm not that stupid."

So he gets down on one knee,

She gasps and loses her breathe,

the fireworks rise,

and he says,

"Will you marry me?

My Only one and everything?

But hush, don't answer yet,

I'll make it special when I get back."

So he leaves, waving back he rushes to the hospital,

to see his best friend,

It turns out she's okay, with nothing broken, but her heart.

he comforts her through the night, saying all he can with all his might.

They've always been close, years worth of memories,

and he knows what to say, because he's lost it all, the same way she did,

but it was all his fault.

before it was her, who saved him.

and now it is him, who saves her.

"I asked her to marry me" he said.

and she knows what he wants, but he stays for days,

because she's the only family he has left.

and when it's all over, a week from then,

he planned to propose to her again,

but on the way there,

he was hit by a truck,

Broken and bruised and engagement ring in hand,

he stands up on his thighs, half broken he is,

he writes "I Love You" on a piece of paper,

he leaves the world leaving his Love and sister,

saying I'm sorry, I couldn't stay for forever.

2009-01-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

[ x] Are you Asian in the first place?
[x ] Were you born in an Asian country?
[ ] Do YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS a LoT?
[ x] Do you eat rice almost every single day?
[x] Can you use chopsticks?
[]Have you taken Chinese/Korean/etc school as a kid?
[x]Can you speak an Asian language?
[] Do you spike(guys)/highlight(girl

s) your hair?
[] Do you have an "azn crew"? (my cousin and i :) )
[x] Do you get at least 3A's.

Total So Far: 6

[x] Are you or were you once a fob?
[] Have you designed a website before?
[ ] Do you know the song "Got Rice?"
[x] Have you ever dated/wanted to date an Asian girl/boy?
[x] Do your sms/email have the words: AzN, gurl, boy, sweet, cute, hot, dragon, babe, angel, lil, princess, ... , oO, Oo, etc? WHAT THE FUCK?????!
[] Is your last name park, lee, chang, wang, wong, kim, chow, zheng, or yu?

Total So Far: 9

[x] Do you take off your shoes before entering someone's house?
[] Do you have both an Asian and an English name?
[x] Do you watch anime?
[ x] Do you listen to techno?

Total So Far: 12

[x] Do you listen to Asian music?
[x] Have you watched Asian movies?
[] Can you rave?
[ ] Do you drink pearl milk tea or bubble tea?
[] Do you play counterstrike, starcraft, warcraft, diablo, etc?
[ ] Are you a master at DDR?
[x ] Do you play the violin/piano?
[ x] Parents beat you if you get bad grades?
[] Are you taking/going to take any honors classes?

Total So Far: 17

[] Are you a very good artist?
[x] Do you speak your Asian language with your friends?
[ ] Do your relatives own a restaurant/market in an Asian community?
[] Do you slurp soup?
[x] Have you visited your home country at least twice?
[] Does your house smell like incense once in a while?
[x] Do you have glasses or braces?
[x] Do you like to read?
[x ] Do you NOT have an allowance?

Total So Far: 22

[x] Have you eaten dim sum/dumplings/mandoo before?
[] Are your parents fobs?
[x] Do you have tons of cousins/siblings/uncles/aunts/etc?
[] Can you twirl a pencil between your fingers?
[x] Have you ever solved a rubik's cube?
[x] Do you read manga?
[] Is the mall your hang out place?
[] Do you think you're short?
[] Do you/your parents save ketchup packets/napkins/etc from restaurants for later use?
[ ] Do you have AzN BROWN PrIdE?

Total So Far: 26

Now multiply your total by 2. That's what % Asian you are.

52%? whoa ahhahaha

2009-01-12T02:19:00.000-08:00

Like a virgin,

Touched for the very first time.

Yeah one of the gay moments.

You know, sometimes, Me and Sarah talk about zombies.

and she asked me what happens if like a horde of zombies attacked the world

and my parents left me behind with a car.

(WHAT?? what kind of parent does that.)

Well I said.

"Well yeah if that happens, I'll take the car, run into some zombies, drive to your house,

Pick you up, then drive to America, get a green card, and buy some guns, go back to malaysia,

And Shoot some zombie fuck."

Does that make sense?

and then Like another time, This convo with like Dan Wong, Sarah, Steinke and me.

We were like talking bout porn movies. and like they were going

Oompa Loompas and Smurfs and then Tandoori Chicken. Wtf wtf.

haha.

I need to get like a watermelon and like bamboo.

I've shouted at someone because they touched me.

There's this lady in the canteen, which freaks the shit out of me.

"ey come here boy." that one?

Devil May Cry 4 is pretty cool.

If I got a tattoo

I would get one which runs down the whole of my left arm.

It will hurt like fuck.

hahah

you know someone should like dip himself in tattoos and like be the worlds largest tattoo.

Yeah.

This was fucked.

hahahaha.

Byebyebeybeyebyebeyebeyebyebyebeyebye.

2009-01-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

How can you sleep?

How can you breathe?

Baby, tell me how you love me now.

I took her out,

It was a Friday night.

yeah Sarah, You're welcome,

I don't think anyone will actually read it hahaha.

But who cares.

does someone really say thanks for asking ahahahha

It'll only last so long.

Permanent Jet Lag,

Please take me back.

As Long as we're walking on the sun.

I'm engaged to my best friend.

The (Shipped) Gold Standard - Fall Out Boy, Folie a Duex

2009-01-05T03:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wanna quit this all and become an accountant now.
But I'm no good at math and besides the dollar is down.
plant our trees on Lake Michigan before it gets cold.
I gotta feel the wind chill again before I get old.

I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs.
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.

You can blame your problems on the world for so long.
Before it all becomes the same old song.
As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're gonna leave this town.
And keep new passports and get get get get get out now!

All the "s" men said "no comment".
My mouth got "go away".
Wrong way and all the cost that it's a no win.
The time my dad called me a horse shoe crab.
And I asked him if throwing it back into the sea would bring our luck back?

I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.

You can blame your problems on the world for so long.
Before it all becomes the same old song.
As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're gonna leave this town.
And keep new passports.
Get out now!

Tell that boy I'll leave you alone now.
Like a store I'll turn my love down.
Soon we're in the profit of both in the business of soul.

I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs.
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.
I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs.
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.

You can blame your problems on the world for so long.
Before it all becomes the same old song.
As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're gonna leave this town.
And keep new passports.
get get get get get out.
get get get get get out now!

2009-01-01T02:07:00.000-08:00

Guess what?

My One-hundredth post.

And It's about you.

When I was in Singapore,

I had time to think.

wondering how you were.

Hahaha,

Don't leave me,

saying you're alright,

When you're not.

I know you,

So I know when you're not.

I get white hair you know?

that's how much I worry for you.

So, I'm gonna sit here, wait for you,

to tell me what's wrong,

and!

You can tell me anything,

even if it kills me,

I'll still wait.

So, It's fine to be not alright,

Nothing wrong with it,

Cry.

there's nothing to replace a part of you.

even if you fill it up, it won't be the same.

so, keep going till it doesn't hurt as much anymore.

Yeah, kids, don't do drugs and study hard,

because in a few years,

you're gonna be bigger

wiser, and stronger.

I won't ask for things you don't wanna say,

I won't ask for things you don't wanna do,

but just so you know,

I'm always here for you.

You're killing me here.

hahahah.

I've discovered a danger from posing for

nude photography.

Happy New Year.

Guess what?

You're the first person to speak to me this year.

SO!

it's not that it's a bad start.

it just got off on the wrong foot.

Sorry, was in Singapore,

couldn't, you know, go through all the drama.

I'm back now.

Welcome me home?

Why don't you say so?

2008-12-23T11:12:00.000-08:00

There's always time for you.

When I'm close to you.

Just talk to me.

When I'm not around.

Just call me.

When I'm so far away you can't possibly reach me.

I won't ever go that far away. haha.

You trust me. right?

Then! I'm always here.

And yeah if there isn't time, I'll make time.

'cause you know I make an incredible amount of excuses.

Forever's never seemed so long,

As when you're not around, It's like a piece of me is missing.

|We're six feet under the stars|

|spending 7 minutes in heaven.|

Yeah yeah

I'll be here forever,

'cause I miss you too.

No condom, No party.

hahaha.

'Cause you know

I'll go wherever you go.

Maybe ;)

The World Begins With You.

2008-12-17T10:37:00.000-08:00

Hey.

You know,

I miss a lot of people,

and will miss a few more.

Right now, I only know

Ai Ru

and

Jason

are leaving.

So,

To Ai Ru,

You're going to Melbourne right?

haha I WAS supposed to go there, but I turned it down.

Okay.

I don't know you that well.

Let's see,

I know,

you don't like spicy food. (i know that!)

you'd want a tiger compared to a bear. (you do like tigers right?)

your birthday is two days before mine. (I"M PRETTY DAMN sure about this one)

your favourite colour is blue. Unless you changed it. well that's the last time I asked you haha.

Sorry Having a reverie.

oh and you live near a shell station.

hahah.

I THINK that's five things I know about you haha..

So Bye, Ai Ru,

I'll

We'll

Miss You.

Have fun an all girls school.

Dude, I've no one to sit next to in bio and physics. now.

sigh.

Ai Ru, You remind me of

Kangaroos.

Is that offensive?

I think Kangaroos are rather cool.

yay.

_____________________________________________________

To Jason.

Umm Really i don't know a thing about you.

You're going to a tennis academy if I remember.

You were in my mandarin class last year.

You're in Queen? (Dude, sucks for you.)

Haha You're cool? funny.

I don't know anymore haha.

We'll miss you. everyone in the year,

Maybe not everyone,

EVERYONE will miss you.

Bye Jason,

Wherever you're going.

See you whenever

In Years maybe.

Who knows,

The world works in mysterious ways

I could be a bird someday and

you could kill me with a tennis ball.

Just saying.

_______________________________________________________________

Sarah,

It's been forever

Since we've spoken.

It's getting lonely.

In my world.

I miss you.

_________________________________________________________________

You know, I miss

Love, or was it even there.

It doesn't matter,

It feels empty.

_________________________________________________________________

What is Love?

Like too much?

Attraction?

The world works in mysterious ways.

because,

The world begins with You.

Enjoy every moment,

it only comes once right?

Who knows, In 30 years, we could all be married,

having a reunion,

Smiling the same smiles we did

so long ago.

I don't mind getting older,

it's the growing up bit

I don't wanna ever do.

haha.

I don't wanna close my eyes,

I don't wanna fall asleep,

Cause I miss you, baby,

and I don't wanna miss a thing.

2008-12-05T04:27:00.000-08:00

Your lips are a different kind of poison.

You know that feeling when you just can't be bothered?

2008-12-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

You know what,

I really don't care.

Not a single bit.

If I can

Can't

I don't care

If I go

not.

Would It have been better missing

just to find out nothing was said?

Say it and disappear?

I wish

I could fly on clouds

all day, just to see

How far it would take me,

Away from here.

Really,

It's not cause

of THAT,

There are other things in life,

That I have to worry about.

I couldn't care less about the things that I say,

Than to hurt you, leave you dying away.

And the only thing, that makes me bleed,

Is the way your lips caught mine,

In a way, In a way,

You could have stabbed me and I wouldn't have felt

Anything.

Ai Ru, I really am Sorry.

2008-12-01T02:52:00.000-08:00

this is sarah.
i am so cool i did redzuans blog.
i am smart with this shit.

T H E O N L Y T H I N G T H A T S L E F T
I S T H I S C U R S E O N Y O U R L I P S
I H O P E T H E Y T A S T E O F M E
forever

2008-11-27T07:33:00.000-08:00

You made me love you,

I didn't wanna do it,

I didn't wanna do it.

Come on let me

Hold you,

Touch you,

Feel you,

Always.

You don't know me,

And You don't even care.

Fly me to the moon,

Let me play among the stars.

Let me see what spring is like on

A Jupiter and Mars.

I'll be stuck fixated on one star,

when the world is crashing down

And I'd give forever to touch you,

Cause I know that you'd feel me somehow.

You're the closest to heaven,

That I'll ever be,

And I don't wanna go home right now.

AND I'D SWIM THE OCEANS FOR YOU.

Sometimes all you want is

Love.

You know?

2008-11-23T04:33:00.000-08:00

You know,

Life can be described in so many ways.

Life is a roller coaster.

Life is a cookie?

Life is a story.

It's a melody.

You know,

When I was younger, I always wanted

To be some superhero.

Well, The red Power Ranger,

Ultraman, and yeah.

Though the Idea of Tights may not come to interest anymore.

Well when I was younger,

I had thought of flying, Killing monsters

All because I wanted to be something,

Someone.

I still do.

We want to Fit in.

So we get noticed.

It's natural sometimes

You know why fictional writers

write?

It's because they write about,

Their imagination,

Something not meant in Reality.

That's why we have our imagination,

So we can dream.

Without having to worry.

To my closest friend, Sarah.

You are were my escape.

You know,

Why people write about Love?

What we want most,

Is Love.

It doesn't need to be Romantic.

Love for Family, Friends.

Or well

That Someone, You

Just can't Live without.

You know,

When you were a kid?

You don't automatically change into an

Adult by age.

It's when you become a man

Or something Like that.

Damn I read this somewhere before but I forgot

where.

Thanks to that writer.

You know,

I couldn't live without Music.

To My Mother,

I Love You, Mum.

For giving birth to me.

as a Pain as it was. Literally.

I'm glad you didn't drink or smoke

when you were pregnant with me.

I would actually be retarded if you did.

To My Father,

I Love You, Dad,

Even when you're not around.

Thanks for fertilising Mum,

It really did help.

Thanks for taking me seriously,

and putting your hopes on me.

I want to Make you Proud.

Especially You.

To Redzlan,

Oh Lan.

Could you shut your drums up?

You're like a marching band.

Yeah, well, I hadn't realized

How relaxing it is to spend time with you.

No matter how queer you are.

Hahaha Bite me, Godzilla.

To Hanna,

Whose just Hanna.

Hahahaha.

You've actually got talent at plenty of things.

You're just too damn lazy to be the best.

To all my Friends,

As vague as I am..

Thank You.

You actually bothered to spend time with me.

hahahahahaah.

And To Sarah,

Thank You, For Being You.

I don't think anyone knows me better than you do.

Though you may not know much anyway.

That doesn't matter.

I'm glad I met you.

Sorry, For being Me.

Hahaha.

You know,

I can die without regrets.

hahahah

That sounds so gloomy.

I'm happy.

You know,

I have a goal in Life.

To be

Me.

It's the hardest goal I've had. ahhaha.

Because

Being Me.

It's Me.

But Much more

Of a Man

Than I am Now.

AND

You Know,

I'm not scared.

of the future.

anymore.

hahaha.

i don't wanna be anything other than what i've been trying to be lately.

I do actually write long.

hahahaha.

Good Morning.

Redzuan.

2008-11-18T06:12:00.000-08:00

You know those Childhood Dreams of when you wanted to become Superman?

Or a Superperson?

Well I'm like a superman who wishes he could fall.

And Not have to stand up again.

If I were superman, I would chase the stars, not protect a city. Not my problem hahahah

*what kind of hero would do that*

I'm not a hero, Just a being that wishes to be human.

I mean the superpowers is cool and all. but

really, I think I'd prefer being a Superman.

Why do we need more of the same kind of people around?

Superheroes have it tough, They had to give up their Dreams,

For Something they were born with, Bit by a radioactive spider.

You know the stars?

When they shine, I only think about how they shine so bright.

Today is gonna end soon, I already know,

I'm gonna miss it.

2008-11-18T02:26:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SARAH.

I would write what I'd given you, But

I just want it to be for you.

All Hail The Heartbreaker.

haha.

It's a new year, We're like newly made condoms.

If I was one, I'd Be strawberry flavoured.

They say Quitters never win.

Haha Lies.

I'm the first person who spoke to you

When You Turned Fifteen.

The big 1-5.

I'll Be Stuck Fixated On One Star,

_________________________

Happy Birthday Sarah, Sorry I couldn't take you out today.

Today's Not Just another day,

It's that time of Year, Where I feel like smiling.

Tonight And Forever.

We only want to sing you to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

2008-11-17T03:14:00.000-08:00

NZO WAYZZ It'S

SARAH!

IT"S YOUR BIRTHDAY TOMORROW! yay

OMG i took like an HOUR??????

on you present plus another three coming.

2008-11-12T02:22:00.001-08:00

I’m 170cm tall.
I don’t know what I want at the moment.
I’m not happy.
I hate my friends.
I hate my life.
I hate my grades.
He drives.
I’m bored of driving.
I have a white handbag.
I love dancing.
I go clubbing every week.
Shopping is bullshit.
I have a tattoo of a star.
I got my navel pierced.
I have friends that take drugs.
90% of my friends smoke.
I still hang out with my ex, even though our break up was rather nasty.
I’m studying Fashion.
I have a business running.
I hate cartoons.
I hate someone.
I have 10 Guess handbags.
I buy CLEO every month.
My parents don’t know about my blog.
I have an iPod.
I don’t have faith in the current “one”.
My school mates know about my blog.
I wanted to be a fashion designer.
I love rock emo bands.
I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups.
I’m a rebel.
I’m starting to like wearing dresses.
I don’t believe in love.
High school's filled with drama.
My parents have faith in me.
I’ve bought shoes this month.
A blogger bitched about me before.
I hate sports.
I heart Italian food.
I hate meeting new people.
I hate nail polish.
The mother bear gives me hugs.
People should start appreciating me.
High school was the worst time of my life.
I have red hair.
One Utama is my second home.
I’m a guy.
I’m scared of my Biology exam.
I hate vacations.
We’ll last.
I believe in long distance relationships.
I’m going to get high and smoke weed one day soon. LOL
I’ve robbed an old lady.
I’m starting to like applying make-up.
I was a tomboy.
At times I think I still am a tomboy.
I love bitching about people behind their backs.
I still have a best friend.
I have a cat.
I hate surprise parties.
I hate planning parties.
I’m hot.
I’m a sinner.
I’ve got a DS light.
I have a Wii.
I can live without music.
Video games are a waste of time.
I miss the father bear.
I love being in love.
I know how to cook.
I have 100% freedom.
Boys are assholes.
I hate Math.
I love horror films.
I’m happy with what I have.
I slept in my parents’ room for 3 days after watching Scream when I was a kid.
My old friends keep in touch with me.
I don’t read newspapers.
The news is such a waste of time.
Blogging is a waste of time.
I hate animals.
I can’t live without make-up.
I curse like a pirate.
I’m happy with my 11 year old car.
I hate people that are smart.
I love Apple Juice.
I can’t drink for nuts.
I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity.
I’ve got a new phone.
I’m going to get a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.
I love swimming.
I haven’t worked out since March.
I think I’m fat.
I love my friends and family.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARRAH

2008-11-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

JARRAH,

I am the first phone called you received

and the first person who wished you, Unless, Sarah beat me to it. grrh. hahaha

the first person to talk to you!

The first song you listened to was Build God, Then We'll Talk by Panic! At the Disco

And your first drink was Wine.

as a fifteen year old

Happy Birthday, Jarrah.

Have An awesome one Today, with everyone.

But Me Hahaha

2008-11-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

Love comes in Stages.

--------------------------

Honestly, from my heart, mind and soul,

I want you to want me.

And I'll mutter the words that will

Take Your breath away.

I'd take you away, for every single day,

With me, anywhere You please.

I'd only ask for one thing from you,

and Nothing else.

I will be Yours.

If You,

Be only Mine.

"You know when it rains?"

"Yeah?"

"The only thing other than the sound of the raindrops

I would want to hear, Will Be only Your Voice"

"Really?"

"And You Know when the Moon Shines?"

"Yes"

"It's the only other thing besides You who lights the dark for me"

"Really?"

"And You know when I say 'I Love You'?"

"Yeah?"

"There's no other girl besides You, I would ever mean those words to.

And If we could stay like this forever, I wouldn't care if the world was ending,

Well, At least I could Leave with You. Right?"

"Right"

I thought everything had to end one day, Until I met You.

---------------------------------------------------

I think it was Okay, that whole context.

Camp Was Actually Quite Entertaining.

I did actually relieve my boredom.

Joy.

Quantum Of Solace Was pretty good.

It's 1.04 am I'm gonna sleep

Good Night.

2008-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

THE SELF

[01] Real name: Nur Redzuan Nur Jazlan
[02] Nickname: Redz, Swan (hahah get it? Redswan)
[03] Married: Only if you want "it" that fast.
[04] Zodiac Sign: Virgo.
[05] Gender: Male
[06] Age: Fifteen
[07] High school: What?
[08] College: I think that these tagging things don't expect people our age to blog so they give it to big fat guys on chairs.
[09] Height: Hahaha Certainly taller than Sarah, By a head.
[10] Weight: Let me check. 60kg????!!!!!! Dude i thought I was heavier, I feel heavier.
[11] Do you like yourself: I'll lie. Yes I do so much.
[12] Piercings: I'm clean.
[13] Right or left: Left. Gonna be amibdextorous
[14] Are you a freak: In bed yes. hahahah
[15] Hair: Dark Brown with highlights of orange blonde.
[16] Skin: A middle toned brown
[17] Allergic: Nope not at all.
[18] What are you doing now: Hahaha I was trying to find scissors to cut this annoying muscle. But now I'm here doing this.
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: Be at Bangsar Village.
[20] What will you do 10 years later: Yeah Party hahaha
[21] Live with: Gozilla, Father, Mother, Sister, Elsie, Delia, Dusty, And Chocolate and alot and alot of Fish.
[22] Siblings(including you): Three. Unless I was switched at birth.
[23] Eldest: I
[24] Youngest: Hanna
[25] Love/hate your family: Of course I love them, For not kicking me out yet. hahaha Jokes.
[26] You found your other half: Hahaha Not yet.
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: April Scott. Ahahaha
[29] Time(s) you were in relationship: Only One.
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): What's woo?
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): What's WOO?
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: Hahaha You can't keep up if I told you.
[34] Ever argue with your other half: Haven't met her hahah.
[35] You with your other half since: Sigh Is this an issue of me not being complete enough?
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: Straight Straight, But If I was A chick, I would bee totally lesbo.
[37] Reasons you love your other half: If it was April Scott. Haha haha
[38] You and your other half in which stage: If It did happen All the stages baby.
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: Yeah woo what the fuck?
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: Who?

THE FRIENDS

[41] Your first best friend: Sarah Jade King.
[42] Your first enemy: I'm a friendly person
[43] The friend you love the most (1 only): One only? Midget. Otherwise Everybody Me Love.

[44] The enemy you hate the most (1 only): I am awesome, I can do the robot.
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: Who? hahaha
[46] Your most handsome boy friend: I don't know.
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: ------------ too many words.
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: Who thinks he's all better than everyone else. I think I hit a guy like that before.
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: Nope.
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: Nope.
[51] If your friend backstabs you: hahaha I'll just ignore them and go find another friend. It's all normal yo.
[52] If your friend betray you: Then I'll stab them.
[53] If your friend woos your lover: What's woo.
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: Hahaha Nope.
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: Nope.

THE STUDIES

[56] Are you a good student: I'm bored enough to do the work.
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Haha missed a few.
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Ms Hilliebrand. Damn awesome.
[59] Always late to school/college: Haha I wish.
[60] Your class: huh?
[61] You love your seniors: I like scissors.
[62] Seniors who you love the most: The sharp ones.
[63] Your classmates good/bad: hahaha I don't careee.
[64] Excellent result classmate: Hyun seok.
[65] Laziest classmate: Chris
[66] Smart people: Jess, Jo yve, Hyun, John.. LOADS
[67] Stupid people: Now that's just rude. David.
[68] Good looking people: Hahaha.
[69] Ugly people: That's just mean, John, David. Boner boy..
[70] Funny people: The funny looking ones? Chris.
[71] Cute people: Hahahahahahaa.
[72] Bad people: Fiesta
[73] Honest people: Hmm.
[74] Acting people: Who like put an act on? Me.
[75] You are what kind of people: Hahaha Beach, Stars, Sunset person. You know. :D Parties would be for me but I don't drink. Dammit.

THE PREFER

[76] Lip or eyes: Both. Though I do this staring thing quite a bit.
[77] Hugs or kisses: Kisses definitely.

[78] Shorter or taller: Shorter.
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: If a girl had nice arms that would be pretty queer wouldn't it?
[81] Listener or Talker: Talker.
[82] Romantic or rich: Romantic
[83] Good husband or good father: Am I supposed to change the questions?

THE FUTURE

[84] Age to get marry: Not too early, after my twenties, Hmm like twenty five plus
[85] Numbers of kid(s): Three. Not all boys. I could have like Two girls and one boy or One girl And Two boys, I think I would want twins, It would be pretty awesome or triplets.
[86] Career: Engineer, Doctor, No politics.
[87] Salary: More than you can count.
[88] Retirement age: When I have billions and billions I don't need to work to live. so I can just live with my family.
[89] Properties value: ?
[90] Wishes: I wish to fly one day.

TAGGING;

Me And Sarah Our other blog.

Herstory

Carl

Dexter

Li Shan.

Taking Small Steps At A Small Pace.

2008-10-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

I'm, Sorry.

For Not Being Able To,

Do Anything.

I've Been Constantly Thinking Of Clicking On Your Name, Thinking Of Something.

More Over. I just don't understand.

I never did.

Never Will.

You Know, I have this constant wish of flying.

It's Like a cage, Everything.

And Still I'm sitting here, Thinking Will everything....

No, I won't let it.

Is It Okay To Stop Breathing?

Because The Air I am Inhaling,

Is Too Suffocating.

And No It's Not Easy To Keep A Damn Mask On.

I'll Tell Everyone Something,

I Like being straightforward.

I don't Like Doing that Oh Don't tell anyone crap.

It's Like A Disease.

What The Hell Are You Afraid Of?

That the person will find out?

So? I've made too many lies To even believe myself.

It's Not A Good Thing.

I find Myself, Useless.

And more Importantly, I don't care What happens to me.

There Are Things Which are more important compared to me.

So whatever happens, I'll be the one Stitching it up.

And For Everything, I'm Sorry For Myself.

Why Am I like this.

2008-10-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

Could It Last?

Watch You Watch The Room.

I was here thinking,

You were Singing,

The Songs I wrote for You.

I'm grounded.

Not The best news ever.

Because Of It I'm missed Fariza's

And Am now missing Li Shan's tomorrow.

Not The best news ever.

My Life, Is Becoming A Little Less, Emotionless.

I think 'My' is such a powerful word.

I finished Eclipse today.

After borrowing it for like a month.

Not The best news ever.

--------------------------------------------------

On This Earth, No Matter Where I look,

There's The Sky and the Land.

Sometimes, I wish I could Fly, In the sky,

Just like the birds can.

And I want to discover the world, searching for more.

I'm just hoping, that no matter where I go

There'll be love and boundaries exempt.

I want to fly, In the sky, Just Like the Birds can.

Like planes crossing the sea of clouds.

In the sky, No matter where I fly, I wish,

The stars and the moon will shine.

On the land, I wish the sea, will crash for me.

And I'm starting to learn, what I really am looking for.

On this Earth, Where there's dawn and dusk.

In the sky, where there's The stars and the moon.

On the Hill, Where there's fireworks and glasses of wine.

All This Time Looking, I've Been Looking for You.

The Earth, The Sky, And The Hill.

Why do I always have poetic fits only when I write on my blog.

I dreamt of a girl.

2008-10-10T05:57:00.001-07:00

I wake up everyday, seeing the sunrise pass my eyes.

I get ready Then I'm gone, Wondering where you are.

And I'd say to myself, say to myself.

There's no other girl that makes me feel this way.

And If it weren't for you, My heart would be in two.

It's no lie, I want your lips, to be mine. Is that fine?

I want your body to meet mine. Is that fine? Or Not Alright?

Take Your Hand, Feel My Heart, hear the Beat, Just Like from the start.

Without You,

There wouldn't be Me,

So pull me out of my dreams, And tear my heart at it's seams.

Wake Up, And Let Go.

Pass Out, and Dreams Flow,

I'm not sure, If I could,

Stop Dreaming Of You,

In the Dark.

You fiddle with your hair when we speak,

You tilt your head in a daydream.

It's kinda weird how you smile at my stare.

Along with the way you sit on your chair.

These are a couple of things I notice, when I'm speaking to you.

This is A dream and I don't notice, it's not real,

But would it, could it turn out like this. Ssh.

Maybe It could? What would I miss?

Save Your Breath, It's just a dream.

I don't feel that way, it seems.

Yet. who knows?

Wake Up, And Let Go.

Pass Out, and Dreams Flow.

I'm not sure, If I could,

Stop Thinking Of You,

No matter how hard I try.

And I'd Open My eyes,

Greet The Morning Skies,

And remember, That

I Dreamt of This

Girl.

Callous Greetings.

2008-10-10T05:57:00.000-07:00

Dreams Oh Dreams.

2008-10-09T07:22:00.000-07:00

I dreamt again, Last Nights Dream. Not This Afternoon.

I Think I dreamt of a Yeti This Afternoon.

"It would be well cool If you were a vampire"

"It would be, If I was a Vampire"

But though I wouldn't want to be a Vampire as much as I wanted to be one.

I wouldn't be able to Sleep. Meaning I wouldn't dream.

AND THAT REALLY DOESN'T GO ON MY PROS LIST.

And My Dreams, Of Irrevocable Love, I wish they were true.

2008-10-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

This is about another girl.

She fiddles, quite a bit with her hair.

She has dimples?

She has this smile when I stare at her. which is pretty queer coming from the staring guy.

She daydreams.

And She makes me smile.

That's Five things I notice when I speak to her.

I'm trying to write a song.

And another one

But I've been thinking, Just now, When will I see her, hmm.

Ahaha The words won't come out right.

Ah well, Highlight of my day, A secret hahaha.

I think prank calling taxi companies, Dominos, McDs, and Pizza Hut, can be the most funniest things you will ever do.

She wears men's clothes hahahahhaha.

NO. She's not a MAN.

*stare*

It's been 5 days since I've posted.

Oh My Damn, Please, Sun, Do Rise.

The Morning Night Is getting Quiet.

-It's just that, I never knew you're voice sounded so sweet-

I'd caress your whole from your lips down to your toes, if you let me.

2008-09-29T05:12:00.000-07:00

I think that I could make you feel good physically.

You know what I figure, Society it completely based on backstabbing.

And if you want to live high up you gotta do the same. Eventually.

And here I am watching the chessboard waiting for the perfect move to take down

Society. And I'm sorry for everyone who's been hurt, It's just that, as humans.

We're impatient so we don't like restraining our greed. So we take shortcuts which

Cause no foul.

And Here I am again, watching the school yard, waiting to play around with the people

Around me.

If you let me, I'll take you on a journey.

I feel like one of those backstabbers hahhaa.

But at least I don't know what I want so

Is that good?

I feel like tomorrows gonna be something, hopefully.

did you know, The midget cut her hair?

2008-09-27T22:35:00.001-07:00

Sarah cut her hair, well her fringe I think it's pretty cute.

Did you know, She forced me to take partition in another blog so it's like shared with her.

Oh Joy.

But Anywayy Go to

www.navigate-me.blogspot.com

It's gay.

Have an awesome day, awesome people, for you awesome lives.

Tomorrow we have school Motherrrrrr $^#%$#@$#

Hhaha

is it still me who makes you sweat?

2008-09-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

What

You?

Would you tell me if I asked?

When you say wait, I think I've found a deeper meaning to 'wait' hahaha

If I called you, would you answer?

If I called you out, would you come out?

If I climbed through your window would you let me in?

If I asked you to watch the stars with me, would you watch the stars with me?

If I asked you jump off a ledge, jump down, I'll catch you. Maybe ;) hahaha

Favourite song at the moment

Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic! At The Disco

It's just that, I never knew your voice sounded so sweet.

2008-09-24T00:48:00.000-07:00

Hey there, answer your phone,

It's past two weeks, I know you're alone.

Stop shouting and screaming and locking your door.

So Just hush, It won't hurt no more.

Till death do I part, seal your lips.

I'll be holding the gun, Wait for my kiss.

And Yeah it hurts, to see you hurt.

But Today, I feel like

Shout it out loud, when nobody's listening,

Pick up the phone, when nobody's calling.

And I'd tell you to tell me, what you're thinking,

Girl! You've got my heart in a patch of thorns.

We watched the autumn leaves, fall from the trees.

We watched the spring bloom, after noon.

It feels like ecstasy~, When you're with me.

Keep quiet. I just wanna meet your lips and kiss you like never before.

I'll shout it out loud, that I love you,

I'll pick up the phone, just to hear you.

And I'll tell you to keep quiet, listen to me,

Thank you~, For Being My Meteor.

Talk to me, your voice so sweet.

Be my Sunrise, Sundown, and star filled sky,

Till Death do us part, Let's run away.

Across the sky, Like a meteor in front of my eyes.

And Girl! You don't know how much I think of you~

Day and Night. And Stop speaking to me like

You fell for me cause my heart is torn in two.

But Tonight, Let me fall for you.

~Be My Meteor~

I MADE A SONG! AND IT SOUNDS PRETTY OKAY FOR ONCE.

haha i feel proud, unless it isn't that pretty or okay, it's fine.

At least I liked it hahahaha

Okay maybe fine, it's not good at all, i spent quite a bit on this,

Like an hour or so. AHahhahaa. uhh.. but it's fine.

Yeh hahahhahaha

mehh.

Oh, Thanks Midget, for everything :D

Be Quiet.

2008-09-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hush now, be quiet.

if you make a sound they'll find us.

I'll go out and take them down.

So please, be quiet and don't follow me.

And don't complain, because, I won't die.

I promise, and if anything happens.

take this. use it only when you are in trouble.

Okay? So hush now, be quiet.

It's not that i want to leave you by the way,

it's just that if i don't I'd lose you.

So here's a promise,

Till death do I part, I'll keep my heart beating.

Till death do I part, I'll keep breathing.

Till death do I part, I'll love you boundlessly for eternity.

They're coming, So hush now.

Whatever you do, don't die. because I don't want a world without you.

Goodbye, _________, For now. My lips are yours.

Till death do I part, Tonight and Forever.

-Till death do I part.-

Tell me! what do you think is happening?

Tell me anywhere hahaha.

Whoaa, i think i have something for english now. ahahahaha.

I want to pick up my phone and talk forever.

Want me to tell you something?

2008-09-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah, you probably do.

Well remember when I said I didn't remember anything

about the most memorable thing Sarah did for me?

ahahaha i got one.

Here it goesssss

Haha, the most memorable thing she's ever done for me was,

Becoming my best friend.

Ahahaah bet you never heard that before.

Wanna know how I feel?

I feel quite Lucky.

hahaha

I got a poker set, but though my best present so far

is probably what she gave me though

She is a lgfaLFGHLNGSNFLN

Go die Sarah.

:D hahahaa

Ahh I'm so damn hungry, but happy.

No still damn hungry.

What do i do now?

Ahahahhahaha

2008-09-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Ai Ru, Go away Sarahhhh Ahahahaa.

Tag Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Time: 1.44 am
Name: Redzuan
Sisters: Hannah
Brothers: Godzilla
Shoe size: UK 9/10?
Height: 5 something?
Where do you live: Malaysia
Favourite drinks: Coke? i think.
Favourite breakfast: haha i don't eat breakfast. BUT chocolate is fine.
Have you ever ;
been on a plane: Yes.
Swam in the ocean: Yes.
Fallen asleep in school: Yes.
Broken someone's heart: I think I smashed it, ahhhh yes i feel guilty.
Fell off your chair: Yes.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: I've glanced at the phone waiting for a reply.
Saved e-mails: Yes.
Chicken pox: Yes.
Sore throat: Yes.
Stitches: YES.
Broken nose: Ahahaha Sarah has.

What is your room like: Awesome and cramped, i have no table space.
What's right beside you: it's so messy i don't know anymore.
What is the last thing you ate: A BURGER AHAHAHA

Do you ;
believe in love at first sight: Tell me what love is first.
Last made you smile: I think it was Li Shan.
You last yelled at: Sarah i don't think it's even yelling.

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: I don't know.
Kissed anyone: I wish.

Get sick: I feel a bit dizzy.
Talked to an ex: No hahaha
Miss someone: Dunno.
Best feeling in the world: When I hold the person who makes me feel that way in my arms.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: i sleep with my guitar.
What's under your bed: a guitar case, a basket, another basket, dumbells and i don't know anymore.
What time is it now: 1.51 am

Random Qs:
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now: No.
Q: Do you have any siblings: Yes.
Q: Do you want children: Yeah
Q: Do you smile often: I don't think fake smiling counts. so no..
Q: Do you like your hand-writing: AHAHAHA i don't think you could call it writing.
Q: Are your toenails painted: NO. I'm a dude, dude.
Q: Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: I have a few dozen.
Q: What colour shirt are you wearing: grey it's not even a shirt.
Q: What were you doing at 7.00pm yesterday: waiting to break fast.
Q: I can't wait till: Till, what do i want.
Q: When did you cry last: I don't know.
Q: Are you a friendly person: hahahaha acting the part doesn't count. so no.
Q: Do you have any pets: Yes
Q: Where is the person you have feelings for right now? She, I don't know.
Q: Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now? Ahahahaha Only if my hand touches her face.
Q: Do you sleep with the TV on?: Music on.
Q: What are you doing right now? This whatever you retard.
Q: Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. AHahahahaha I saw a squirrel and chased after it.
Q: Can you handle the truth? there's nothing hard about it.

you just think it is.
Q: Are you closer to your mother or father? Mother...
Q: Who was the last person you cried in front of? hahaha my computer.
Q: How many people can you say you've really loved? She'd have to come by for me to know.
Q: Do you eat healthy? i haven't touched vegetables in 2 weeks.
Q: Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? Too many times.
Q: How often do you go to church? I'M A MUSLIM. GRRH.
Q: If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? My dreams.
Q: Are you loud or quiet most of the time? I'm a quiet person being loud.
Q: Are you confident? If I wasn't, who else would make you do things you wouldn't dare?
Q: 5 things I was doing 10 years ago: I was 5 then, hahaha my birthday party, smiling, i was such a happy child. umm breathing, be less violent., and being more humane than i am now.
.Q: 5 snacks I enjoy: daily dose of music., Coke, PIZZA, Sweets, ice cream
Q: 5 things I would do if I were a billionaire: I would travel the world. and see the aurora lights and go to salar de uyuni! and buy over playboy mansion if i was a multi billionaire with a lot of multi.
Q: 5 of my bad habits: Ahahaha i think i have anger issues.
Q: 5 places I have lived in: Hahah Just here.
Q: 5 jobs I've had: Freeloader.

Tag 5 people :

Fung Ying

Jarrah (she won't do this...)

CARL

DEXTER

Tree.

I wrote a song without a name. And The only people who listen to it are the deaf.

2008-09-20T03:46:00.000-07:00

"What Sarah Said"

And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"

So who's going to watch you die?..

- Death Cab For Cutie.

Ahaha The video made me tear up.

I've got a person, She's just fucking weird.

I swear, she talks about clowns burning my house down singing happy birthday.

She talked about zombies once too.

She has this thing for making sounds hahahahaha.

She's short. well not so, but tall enough.

She can't fix a rubix cube.

Her favourite colour is blue, if it still is.

I don't see why she wants to lose weight.

She has a love for music, hahaha i don't think she could survive without it.

She does so many things unnecessarily like making giant posters.

And She has this walk. it's quite amusing. hahaha

But even as the weirdo is,

She's my person.

I don't think i could go long without talking to her.

well maybe i could but she'd complain hahah.

But I don't know, She has just changed me.

And I'm so damn grateful.

Hahahaha First time for everything right? in other words just writing about her

SJFSNNFJLLSJFLS

weirdness hahaha.

But Thank You, __________

You're a person i'd never forget.

I can't believe i spent twenty minutes on this.

I'll Be Your Sunrise.

- What should i name this song?

I don't like the way the sky shines violet at night.

2008-09-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

It's not that I don't care.

I don't want to see.

There're so many things I don't want to see.

But truthfully, there're things which even

I want to see.

I want to see, what

Life will be like.

What of the shattered world.

Everybody.

I want to see things that'll make

me feel.

Alive.

It's just, there are many more

things I rather not see.

But, I'm glad to see them.

Well Not at first.

But seeing for myself.

It's a gift.

And these eyes, have something

to see.

What do you want to see?

I wonder, if I asked,

What do you want most?

Do you know?

Empty.

2008-09-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

There's nothing to say, or I don't favour talking,
And I look in the mirror, to have this feeling stalking,
There's something to think about,
But nothing to Break the Silence.
You'd talk to me, and I'd listen,
But If i spoke, Would You listen?

How Long can you lie to yourself before you don't know what's the
Truth. Of Course How long can you be honest to yourself before you start
Lying. And How long can you keep lying before

Nobody Will Listen.

Here's Something to think about,

Do you know what it feels like to be

Silent?

2008-09-14T06:35:00.000-07:00

1. The last person to tag you?

AHAHAHA not again. Welll

Now it's Ai Ru. I swear if anymore people tag me i will spam their chatboxes.

2. Your relationship with him/her ?
Friends haha

3. Your 5 impressions towards him/her ?
Sporty, Smart, Neat, Checks her phone quite often, Awesome. :D Ahahaa.

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you ?
Hahaha I don't know actually. I don't think anyone has. Aside From... No nothing i can remember at all.

5. The most memorable words that he/she has said to you ?
Ahahaha I can't remember?

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
Haha I'm Grateful no guys tagged me because as you know, I AM NOT GAY.

But If she became my lover, I'd Be the same for her.

Though as well for my previous tag from sarah., I'm Human

So i wouldn't know if i could.

Be the same.

For Them.

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
Be afraid as well. hahahah

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
If she does ;D Though who made thisss?

But hahaha i don't know, i don't see any faults at all.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
Most probably i did something wrong.

10. The most desirable things to do for him/her is...
I don'tt understand the questiooonnnnnnnnnn

11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
Ahaha Awesome.

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you ?
Me? I don't care how they do, if it's negative of course.

I don't need anyone's opinion on how i should do.

If it doesn't help me of course.

13. The character for you for yourself is ?
Hahaha You don't need to know.

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?
I get very harsh and cold.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is ?
There's no ideal in Person. There was though.

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
:D No one has.

17. Ten people to tag.
1.Ai Ru.

2.Lament of the sirens I don't knowwwww

3.My new imaginary vampire buddy carl.

4.My new imaginary werewolf buddy dexter.

5.Brb, Picking off blogs. HYUN SEOK he has two blogs if i remember.

6.Natalie

7.KIM

8.Adela

9.Jackie

10.Ikka

If Any of you tag me back i will spam you.

18. Who is number 2 having a relationship with ?
AHAHAHHA HOWW? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

19. Is 3 a male or a female?
Vampires have a gender right? then he is now a MALE.

20. If number 7 and 10 got together, would that be a good thing ?
A good thing for who hahahahaha

21. How about 5 and 8 ?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA

AAAA

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HAAAA

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHAAAAAA

AA

22. What is number 1 studying about ?
What is she studying about?

23. When was the last time you had a chat with them ?
haha Carl doesn't like talking and Dexter just growls all the time. and everybody else? school hahaha

24. Is number 4 single ?
Ahahaha Are you dexter? Unless you're using you're canine harem carefully.

25. Say something about number 6
Hahaha she has that thing in her mouth hahaha it must hurt.

AHAHAHA Carl and Dexter.

Aiyah, i'm suuch a disturbed child.

It's Raining.

2008-09-13T00:40:00.000-07:00

And It's

Beautiful.

Haha Blue Is My Happy Colour.

I like This Colour.

Eheh. What An Interesting Day.

I Find This Cute ^

GGRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

MRRRRRH.

Dammit. Seriously i ended the post happily a while ago but now i'm just GRAAAAAH.

WHY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It's One Of Those Chain Things That People Actually Bother To Read.

2008-09-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

Sarah Tagged Me.

To do This.

If i'm supposed to Do it like this Mehh.

Haha Why not make it my style.

1. The last person to tag you is?
The One Before This? Oh This.

Sarah.

2. Your relationship with him/her ?

My Weird Ass Clown Stalker.

3. Your 5 impression towards him/her ?
AHAHAHAHA. A Queer.

Awesome.

Umm Bossy.

Interesting.

Just Plain Weird Okay?

She Talks about fat chinese kids in weird ass clown suits burning down my house.

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you ?
I can't remember.

But Though

I'm Not Sure If She Has Yet.

5. The most memorable words that he/she has said to you ?
:D .

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
Laugh My Ass Off.

If She Did Though, I would Become Hers Too.

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...

Be Careful All The Time.

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
I don't see What she has to improve on.

She's Awesome The way She is.

Though She could at least talk more. Though we do enough haha.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...

Is This Thing Just Repeating Things?

HAHA we'll have to find out.

10. The most desirable things to do for him/her is...
Don't' Know. I didn't even understand the question hahahah

11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
Queer. In a Good Way.

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you ?
I don't Know. You Tell me.

13. The character for you for yourself is ?
Hi, I'm Redzuan

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?
Bluezuan. AHAHAA. I'm So Funny.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is ?
Why Would I wanna be someone other than Myself.

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
---------------

17. Ten people to tag.
Fung

Jarrah

Clarissa If She reads this.

Visha

Andrew C

Killerdragongeeks. AHAHAH.

Eli.

Li Shan If She can Post At all.

Sarah.

Hyun Seok! If He Does Have a blog. anymore.

18. Who is number 2 having a relationship with?

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

19. Is 3 a male or a female ?
Female

20. If number 7 and 10 got together, would that be a good thing ?
AHAHAHA in some ways.

21. How about 5 and 8 ?
AAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA

I think i'm gonna cry hahahaha.

22. What is number 1 studying about ?
Well Do You Know?

23. When was the last time you had a chat with them ?
Msn. And School? It's been a while.

24. Is number 4 single ?
I don't knoww.

25. Say something about number 2.
she has problems.

Not those bad kind of problems.

Just Problems.

Like everyone else.

No, I don't pity her.

Rather, I want to Be there for her When everything just collapses for her. And If I can't then i'll do whatever to help after.

Not saying that it will.

But who am i to say anything?

But She's The Kind Of Person who'd I know would be there

as i am for her.

And If I'm Wrong, Just Curse Me Already.

AM I SUPPOSED TO ADD A QUESTION MEHH

I don't care :D.

HAHAHA.

It's Only 1000 Feet.

What's the worst that could happen?

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

Cute Is What We Aim For.

Grr 61 Second replay.

2008-09-12T02:45:00.000-07:00

You Know,

I'm always never angry.

and when i am it's only just seconds.

BUT GFAAGAHFDHFHH

See The Red?

that's my frustration colour.

Mehh, i'm not mad anymore.

this is my normal colour.

you know

this is my

61st Post

I've always liked the number 61.

it's just got a nice tone to it.

aiyahh i never write with colour.

Thanks for telling me i'm just damn overrated.

And You Shout the words,

i can't bear to listen to my ears.

LALALA haha i just wrote that.

i feel like poem-ing.

though the inspiration just keeps flowing out with the mucus from my nose.

Stupid bloody runny nose.

I realize now that hahaha i'm getting emotional with my blogging.

i haven't had a ridiculous one in a while.

Want Me To Tell You Something?

I don't Have a happy colour.

ahaha.

I'm Sick.

It's Been A While Since i last was.

THAT"S NOT GOOD.

It's Pissing Me Off.

I feel Like A HERO

and you are my Heroine.

i love that song.

I think Cute is what we aim for

is just simply awesome.

Practice Makes Perfect

Navigate Me

Doctor

DAMMIT i just like the whole damn album.

How Much You wanna bet i can be the best damn

Heartbreaker

You'll know.

Shoes is GAH --ey.

The one of youtube.

I've Made A Chordal Progression and i think it sounds pretty damn great.

Well.

I only can stay for so long.

How am i feeling.

2008-09-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'm Feeling

Helpless

Angry

Just Lonely.

You're The Only Person I go to when I want to

Complain.

Talk

Just Be ME.

And When I Can't Talk To You

And You Can't Talk To Me,

I can't think.

It's So Frustrating.

I feel so

USELESS.

WouldILieToYou?

It hurts to just sit here.

I've been angry for a long time.

Because Well I Can't find the words to say

So I Say

I hate everything

And When You ask what's wrong.

Well.

I don't Know.

I don't Like It At All

Seeing You Hurt.

It Hurts Me Too.

I'm Still Here.

For As Long

As I Can.

Chemistry.

2008-09-08T04:01:00.000-07:00

Did you know.

My Chemistry Teacher Said To The Class.

Making Bonds And Breaking Bonds Is Like When you're in a relationship.

When you're in it with someone you're happy, exuberant, People Like Being around you because of the energy you give out. Just All that damn happiness. Unless You've lost true love and you're broken forever. then Staying around happy, exuberant couples would be just ridiculous.

And Breaking Bonds. well it's when you break up you take back all the happiness and be miserable. The Couple won't like to see each other and and they're friends wouldn't want to stay around them because of they're crappy miserable aura.

She put it like that and of course i sound ridiculous. because when i heard we were talking about this and how Our Teacher phrased it into relationships.

I lost concentration. I didn't listen. And I just stared at the person in front of me, Thinking

"I wonder what she's thinking of or how she's feeling"

"It's Obvious it bugs her, She's got that smile on her face."

And oh ahah. If you were thinking who?

the person in front of me.

From My chemistry class.

How's The Water?

2008-09-07T07:22:00.001-07:00

That Night, we sat ourselves on the warm sandy beach, our legs dipped into the cool moonlit sea water. I held your soft hand. I stared at your blushed complexion, and your sea blue eyes. We talked about everything until our eyes met with the descending meteor which was sparkling crimson and azure. It made is way past the full moon and blended with the stars in the sky.

We followed it until it reached it's peak and broke away into small sparkles which spread across the sky, we looked down, at each other, staring deeply, slowly leaning forward. And as fireworks lifted into the sky lighting up around us, Our lips touched softly, and we kept there for what seemed like forever, to me at least. My eyes rest at the peace, the faint smell of your shampoo and the sweet everlasting taste of your lips. We pulled away slowly opening our eyes to see the in the background the last firework to rise. I watched you sleep knowing tomorrow I would leave.

So I lay there, stared at you for a while, kissed you on the forehead and ran with tears in my eyes. "Sorry" I would have said, but now I'm screaming I hadn't said a thing. So here I am, on this journey waiting ever so eager to go back and tell you how I feel.

Years Later, On the reoccuring night of the meteor shower, The same date since then, I went to the beach, and saw you and our crappy tent still being used... But... I sat down, on the same sand, I held your hand, and looked at you and asked

"How's The Water?"

AGGGGHHHHHHH i can't believe i can't find the original!!!!!! DAMMIIITTTTTT

I really think this one is crappy.

So Are You Gonna Be My Girl?